Falling in love

Assalamualaikum and good day to all readers,

As the title of this post mentions, I am currently falling in love with someone. Well, to be exact, I have a crush on someone.

Honestly speaking (or writing), I didn’t expect to have these kinds of feelings, especially in my mid-30s. It feels a bit cringe to me. This is also the first time in my life that I have experienced this kind of feeling. Having a crush or falling in love is something that never really crossed my mind because I am realistically aware of my life situation and condition.

However, the reason I am writing this post in English is because she (the girl I have a crush on) is very good at English and graduated with a degree related to English. I forgot whether it was Teaching English as a Second Language (TESL) or English for Professional Purposes (EPP). Therefore, my intention in writing this post in English is to improve my English level, and hopefully, someday I can be on par with her.

I got to know her by attending a course. It was a three-month course. The first time I saw her, I was stunned by her pretty face. In my head, I kept saying that she was so beautiful, even though she wore simple clothes and makeup. She looked modest and simple, yet still stunning.

During the course, I tried to have small conversations with her, but she only gave cold responses. It was a bit heartbreaking to receive such responses, but I needed to show respect. Therefore, I rarely spoke to her after that. However, she would still help or lend a hand whenever I needed assistance. To be fair, she didn’t only help me, but also others who participated in the course.

Long story short, I managed to complete the three-month course and never saw her again after that. I did have her number, but I only sent her two messages: first, to congratulate her on successfully finishing the course, and second, to thank her for being helpful. Honestly, if she had not helped me, I don’t think I would have been able to complete the course. Thus, I challenge myself to improve my English and hope to improve my life if I have any chances. Perhaps someday, if God wills, I will meet her again as a better version of myself.

I know that my English is only moderate. This is proven by my previous MUET exam, which I took in 2008/2009. I took it twice and still got Band 3. From that, I realized that my English level is only moderate.

I have been thinking about retaking the MUET exam because it could help me improve my English. However, it might be quite challenging for me, as I believe the exam format has changed compared to when I last took it.

Before I forget, I want to mention that at the end of the course, I learned from other participants a little bit more about her. She comes from a wealthy family—her family has a maid and a gardener. That was something I never expected, judging from the way she carries herself. I also did some online research about the sneakers she usually wears. They are pretty and have a unique design that caught my attention. To my surprise, the price of the shoes is quite expensive—around one thousand. That made me more realistic about my chances of being someone like her: wealthy, beautiful, and intelligent. She is the complete opposite of me.

Well, I will end this post by saying that meeting her is one of the chapters in my life that I never imagined would happen. Just meeting her is already satisfying and enough for me. I believe that any man who has her as a partner, spouse, or wife is truly lucky. On another note, if I happen to take the MUET exam or do anything to improve my English, please pray and wish me the best.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post until the end.

I wish you all the best in life.